Where to start
Sometimes this is a difficult and sensitive conversation. So, be sure you are prepared and able to answer questions that may come up. I’ll talk about those questions later.
When to have the conversation
Ideally, you want to have this conversation before there’s an incident. When you are ready for the conversation, make sure your loved-one is also ready. Timing is important. Wait for a time when your loved-one is rested, comfortable and in a quiet place. You don’t want too many people there. Maybe their most trusted loved-one only for the first conversation.
What to discuss
Start by asking how they are doing and what they need help with. You want to find out what their challenges are. (Senior Living will provide the solutions to their needs and challenges – keep that in your pocket for later.) For now, ask questions and gather information. Tell them you want them to live their golden years in a way that makes them happy. Ask questions; Have you thought about what you want if you need care assistance? Wait for the answer. Give your heart-felt answer. You want to have a two-way conversation. If you get resistance, think of yourself in their situation. Then, let them know that you just want to know what their wishes are in case care is needed at some point. If the conversation is not going well, change the subject and talk about something else, something they are looking forward to… anything that is a positive topic to them.
What NOT to say
Don’t say “I think”, say “YOU” i.e., What do you need help with? How are you feeling here at home alone? What do you think about the idea of a Senior Living Retirement Community?
When talking about Senior Living Options, definitely don’t say the words: Facility or Old Folks Home. Rather, say “Senior Living Retirement Community”.
Questions Seniors have About Senior Living and the Response:
- Q) I won’t have my independence and privacy.
- A) You would have your own apartment & key. Caregivers only come in if you
Press your call-button 24/7, or when you have a scheduled care service.
- Q) Who will give me my medication?
- A) Your Caregiver will bring your medication, but will first knock on your door
and you will become accustomed to the time they arrive everyday because
medications are scheduled according to your doctor’s order. They will also
manage your refills with your doctor so you don’t run out,
- Q) I don’t want people telling me I should go to activities and events.
- A) The activity schedule is for you to decide what you want to do, or not.
- Q) I don’t want to eat my meals at a scheduled time.
- A) Most Communities offer restaurant style dining 7am–7pm, and Room Service.
What are the Senior Living Options
Independent Living: Not licensed for care. Designated facility for people of a certain age. Each facility has a minimum age requirement). Usually at least 55 years old. Usually none or minimal services are included. If care is needed, the resident would need to hire in-home care or move to assisted living.
Assisted Living: Licensed to provide care. Resident can live as an independent resident paying rent only, which includes meals, housekeeping, laundry, utilities, transportation, activities & social events. If care is needed, resident pays additional for care without moving because they are in a licensed facility.
Memory Care: Licensed to provide care for people with a diagnosis of Dementia. Specialized in caring for people with Dementia, offering certain foods, activities and daily routines for people with Dementia.
Residential Care Homes: Licensed to provide care for assisted living and memory care residents. Usually 6–12 residents. Does not usually offer a lot of activities. Focuses more on care for people with high level needs.